In the wake of the Grand Jury decisions about Ferguson and Eric Garner, video blogger Franchesca Ramsey has put together a little guide on how to be a good ally to a group to which you do not belong.
#5 Ally is a verb. ” [T]he most important thing on this list is, remember that ally is a verb. Saying you’re an ally is not enough. You gotta do the work – 1 through 4, 1 though 4. As always, there are links in the video description box to some of the things I mention in this video, along with some resources that have been really helpful for me as I’ve gone along in my journey to be more conscious. So I want to hear from you in the comments, what are some sites that you suggest checking out, what are some things that have helped you become a better ally.”
#4 You’ll make mistakes! Apologise when you do. “Nobody’s perfect – unlearning problematic things takes time and work, so you are bound to mess up, trip over and fall. But don’t worry, you can brush yourself off, and get right back up. Just remember that it’s not about your intent, its about your impact. So when you get called out, make sure to listen, apologise, commit to changing your behaviour and move forward.”
#3 Speak up, but not over. “If the fight for equality was a girl group, the allies wouldn’t be the lead singer, or the second lead singer, they’d be Michelle. An ally’s job is to support. You wanna make sure that you use your privilege and your voice to educate others but make sure to do it in such a way that does not speak over the community members that you are trying to support, or take credit for things that they are already saying. This isn’t Mario Car: stay in your lane.”
# 2 Listen, and do your homework. “It sounds like a no-brainer, but it’s not possible for you to learn if you aren’t willing to listen. So you gotta know when to zippa the lippa. I don’t know – you get what it means. But that’s the thing that’s so cool about social media – there are so many people sharing their stories all around the world and connecting with people that they normally would never get a chance to without the power of the Internet. So do your homework – start reading blogs, Tweets, news articles and stories so that you can get caught up on the issues that are important to the communities that you want to support.”
#1 Understand your privilege. “Now, a lot of people get hung up on the word, ‘privilege’, so let me break it down for you nice and easy. Privilege does not mean that you are rich, that you’ve had an easy life, that everything’s been handed to you and you’ve never had to struggle or work hard. All it means is that there are some things in life that you will not experience or will ever have to think about, just because of who you are. .. So for example there are currently 29 [US] States where you can legally be fired for being gay and there are 34 States where you can legally be fired for being trans. Now, as a straight cis-woman those are things I don’t ever have to think about if I don’t want to. I’m not going to be fired because I’m straight and I’m not going to be fired because I’m cis. So it makes sense that before I can fight for the rights of others, I have to understand what rights I have and others don’t. That’s privilege.”
Rapid transcription, apologies for errors: “Imagine your friend is building a house, and they ask you to help. But you’ve never built a house before. So it would probably be a good idea for you to put on some protective gear and listen to the person in charge, otherwise someone is going to get seriously hurt. ” *puts on hard hat & goggles & starts stabbing self in the head with a screwdriver* “LOOK! I’M HELPING!!!” “It’s the exact same idea when it comes to being an ally. An ally is a person who wants to fight for the equality of a marginalised group they are not a part of. We need your help building this house but you probably should listen so you know what to do, first.”
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#5 Ally is a verb. ” [T]he most important thing on this list is, remember that ally is a verb. Saying you’re an ally is not enough. You gotta do the work – 1 through 4, 1 though 4. As always, there are links in the video description box to some of the things I mention in this video, along with some resources that have been really helpful for me as I’ve gone along in my journey to be more conscious. So I want to hear from you in the comments, what are some sites that you suggest checking out, what are some things that have helped you become a better ally.”
#4 You’ll make mistakes! Apologise when you do. “Nobody’s perfect – unlearning problematic things takes time and work, so you are bound to mess up, trip over and fall. But don’t worry, you can brush yourself off, and get right back up. Just remember that it’s not about your intent, its about your impact. So when you get called out, make sure to listen, apologise, commit to changing your behaviour and move forward.”
#3 Speak up, but not over. “If the fight for equality was a girl group, the allies wouldn’t be the lead singer, or the second lead singer, they’d be Michelle. An ally’s job is to support. You wanna make sure that you use your privilege and your voice to educate others but make sure to do it in such a way that does not speak over the community members that you are trying to support, or take credit for things that they are already saying. This isn’t Mario Car: stay in your lane.”
# 2 Listen, and do your homework. “It sounds like a no-brainer, but it’s not possible for you to learn if you aren’t willing to listen. So you gotta know when to zippa the lippa. I don’t know – you get what it means. But that’s the thing that’s so cool about social media – there are so many people sharing their stories all around the world and connecting with people that they normally would never get a chance to without the power of the Internet. So do your homework – start reading blogs, Tweets, news articles and stories so that you can get caught up on the issues that are important to the communities that you want to support.”
#1 Understand your privilege. “Now, a lot of people get hung up on the word, ‘privilege’, so let me break it down for you nice and easy. Privilege does not mean that you are rich, that you’ve had an easy life, that everything’s been handed to you and you’ve never had to struggle or work hard. All it means is that there are some things in life that you will not experience or will ever have to think about, just because of who you are. .. So for example there are currently 29 [US] States where you can legally be fired for being gay and there are 34 States where you can legally be fired for being trans. Now, as a straight cis-woman those are things I don’t ever have to think about if I don’t want to. I’m not going to be fired because I’m straight and I’m not going to be fired because I’m cis. So it makes sense that before I can fight for the rights of others, I have to understand what rights I have and others don’t. That’s privilege.”
Rapid transcription, apologies for errors: “Imagine your friend is building a house, and they ask you to help. But you’ve never built a house before. So it would probably be a good idea for you to put on some protective gear and listen to the person in charge, otherwise someone is going to get seriously hurt. ” *puts on hard hat & goggles & starts stabbing self in the head with a screwdriver* “LOOK! I’M HELPING!!!” “It’s the exact same idea when it comes to being an ally. An ally is a person who wants to fight for the equality of a marginalised group they are not a part of. We need your help building this house but you probably should listen so you know what to do, first.”
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