Sheryl Sandberg's "Ban Bossy" campaign is taking a new angle on narrowing the gender gap: preventing it. Data shows that girls start out equally ambitious in school, but way too often, they're squelched by negative feedback. Leadership behaviors that are considered impressive in boys are seen differently in girls. So girls with goals and voices end up getting called "pushy" and "bossy" where their male counterparts are rewarded for their confidence. It's time to tell girls that being ambitious is not just okay, it's great.

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Sheryl wants us to ban bossy. I want girls to realize that "bossy" is often what it takes to get things done.  The qualities that make us leaders are not always the qualities that make us likable.  Girls tend to be more dependent on social acceptance to feel good about themselves. So encouragement is not just about changing the language, it's about priorities. 

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How can we get girls to trust their inner voices more than the chorus of their peers—or before that, their elders? Is this stress on the social innate, or is it something that comes from outside?  This is important for ambition and success in the workplace, but it's also just important for self-esteem and success in general. Bringing awareness to the power of words is a crucial step. But I don't know if it's as simple as banding together against name-calling. Because ultimately, you can't control what other people say. You can only control how you respond to it.