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Like the opening song? We found the original version! See it here..See the vid
This is What Everyday Sexism Feels Like...to a Man
What does a day in the life of a woman look like? Maybe it's easier to see if the woman is a man. Oppressed Majority is a French short by Éléonore Pourriat uses role reversals to shine a new light on the micro-aggressions and macro-aggressions that are an all-too-common part of the female experience. The result is more thought-provoking than laugh-inducing.
also, there's this...
CHATTER
It have really nothing at all to do with this stupid gender discussion…..there is just really bad men, and really bad woman……nice men, and nice woman!.
The world is full of bad types, and good types. We are all humans!
Joe wrote:
“Those guys who wolf whistle and treat women like shit, that’s because they’ve grown up with women showing them that what women value is boys like the boys in one direction, not because of their heart, or any good aspect, because they can sing, they’re good looking and they’re a product. When women seem to value such superficial and stupid things and are attracted to such a shallow bunch of crap, why should men respect them? Women actively show men around the world every day that they’re not attracted to decent respectful men but instead like the jock fuckbag or some lead singer of some d grade band, then they wonder why when they gave this unearnt attraction to these dudes why dudes seem to think they don’t need to be a decent man around women anymore.”
I can really identify with your statement, Joe, but just change a few words.
“Those guys who wolf whistle and treat women like shit, that’s because they’ve grown up with other men showing them that what men value is girls like the girls in Playboy magazine, not because of their heart, or any good aspect, because they have a specific body type, they’re young and they’re a product. When men seem to value such superficial and stupid things and are attracted to such a shallow bunch of crap, why should women respect them? Men actively show women around the world every day that they’re not attracted to decent respectful women but instead like the porn star or some stripper, then they wonder why when they gave this unearnt attraction to these chicks why dudes seem to think they don’t need to be a decent man around women anymore.”
There. Just a few words different and it totally fits my perception of the world.
Joe it seems like you feel pretty resentful of all the ‘girls’ who like boy bands? Maybe you are aiming for too young of a woman, Joe. Or are you a teenage boy? That would make more sense.
Wow, it’s amazing how many of these men didn’t understand this film. Oh, and of course it’s exaggerated. You can’t show much in five minutes. Lol. Or, it’s likely the same ‘men are the real victims’ blind fool typing the same thing again and again. Yes sexism hurts everyone, but you are still the dominant one and your entire life is easier in ways you apparently can’t even see when someone posts them right in front of your face. So men don’t go to college as often, umm, they still have better jobs. Men don’t have to work as hard to get what they want anyway. All they have to do is be ‘one of the boys.’ You don’t like the way men are forced to act? You have the power to change it. This is a power exhange between men, and ultimately about not ‘being like a woman’ because women are after all weak sexual objects. If you treat women equally, guess what this ‘don’t be like a woman’ attitude will also go away and along with these ‘male oppressions’. For example the man not being taken seriously about being domestically abused. This stems from the idea that women are weak. The MEN on the police force are saying you shouldn’t be weak like a woman. The idea that a woman could be powerful enough to hurt a man is still considered absurd. But if men understood that women are not weaker than them, guess what your dumbass male oppression is solved. Get it yet? Probably not. I’m sure you were too lazy and worried about looking like a faggot to learn critical thinking skills. Poor you. Oh wait, I forgot that woMEN forced you boys to stay home from school playing video games all day or playing football instead of studying. Or wait, was that… yourselves? I mean, you didn’t complain about it loud enough. You could have just done your own thing and taken on the consequences. It’s your fault for not standing up for yourselves. Sound familiar? Telling women they are the root of the problem is just proving their point.
I think one of the main points of this is to show all of the things that men don’t even need to consider when they go about with their lives. It doesn’t seem real to them that a woman can feel threatened just by walking past a group of men on the street. Women have to alter their behaviors to avoid “putting themselves” into risky situations. They can’t trust that if they get drunk at a party that they’ll make it home without getting groped or worse. They can’t walk around at night without keeping a constant lookout for danger.
Case in point: Last night I met my wife for dinner. It was night and she was riding the bus. I walked down to the bus station to meet her but when I got there, she had already left. I was a little annoyed with her, but when we finally met up she told me that at that time of night, in that neighborhood, a woman can’t stop moving because the streets are full of unsavory men. I was taking for granted the fact that I can stand on a street corner at night without fearing for my wellbeing just because I’m a man.
And to all of you who say that “rape isn’t part of the every day experience,” I disagree. The possibility of rape shapes a woman’s behavior. It forces her to change her actions to protect herself. In addition, any woman who has been raped is permanently changed by it. It becomes a part of her in ways that she might never fully understand. And statistically, every two minutes, a woman in America is sexually assaulted, so that would definitely make it a daily occurrence.
For those of you out there who say “we’re not all like that!” I say that you’re right, however we are all part of a system that makes rape really easy. Did you know that 97% of rapists will never spend a day in prison? Do you see all of the victim blaming that goes on in rape cases? It’s so bad that only about 40% of rapes are even reported. Rape kits aren’t always processed in a timely manner, which is especially depressing considering that there is often a statute of limitations for prosecuting rape.
It should be every man’s responsibility to help create a country where men don’t rape, or if they do, that the women they rape are supported in their struggle to find justice and to try to put their lives back together. Instead of saying “she should have been more careful,” how about we say, “he should never have done this horrible thing and now he must be punished.”
(y)
To “Milla” It seems to me you are the one who doesnt like to think but instead “soldiers on”. Just look at what you say. Women are strong and powerful and all that but men dont think, just act, feel weak etc etc. Does that seem like an attitude of one who wants equality for both genders? Your entire perception is skewed. Also your definition that one cannot get out of a circle they dont realize they’re a part of is sloppy. What then would be the difference between not knowing you’re in such a circle and there not being one? A lot of us aknowledge the problem but seeing it blown out of proportion is distubring. You see, critical thought is reflective meaning it can analyze itself which is why your definition is sloppy and infact incorrect.
You’re being overtly sensitive and if the modern feminist movement wants to be taken seriously you need to put that aspect of it in check. I’m refering to the guy giving you “points” for the truck. I just dont see how that was a “jab” as you describe it. He approached you and displayed approval of something you have in an attempt to maybe be friendly? A crude attempt mind you but so what? What you’re implying by calling such insteractions “jabs” is that you dont want any interaction unless you previously agreed with it, which is simply not how reality works and in fact you’ll be in the vast vast majority of human beings who would want that. Did the guy block your path? Did he try to touch you? If yes then ok, but if not it was NOTHING MORE than a passing comment. In the rare cases that I use public transportation people sometimes bump into me. Are those jabs? Invasions of my holy privacy? No they are part of living in a society. I had a case where I held the door open for a girl and I smiled. She said I had a handsome smile and went on her way. If she had said “you get points for that smile” it wouldnt be any different, just a comment in passing. In fact I didnt realize I was smiling at her so it felt good that she noticed. It wasnt a jab at me but a normal interaction.
The problem is that feminists often subsribe to the “if you’re not with us you’re against us” mentality and a sthey become more and more extreme to earn the title of feminazi fewer and fewer people are “with them” so in correlation the portion of people supposedly “against them” grows even though they share a vast majority of the views on the topic at hand. So, be less sensitive to normal human interaction, reduce your paranoid tendencies of the “patriarchy” out to get you and stop blowing stuff out of proportion. You’ll see you’ll find a lot more people willing to speak with you and discuss those things.
I want to see the sequel where the woman is drafted to the army, and then upon returning her husband leaves her, taking custody of the kid and all his savings.
I’m sorry this is a VERY extreme portrayal of a normal day for a woman.
Another problem is that men are being represented less and less in colleges and university, so your having more women educated and aware. Men are being conditioned to be think less and act more. So they cannot critically assess a situation, they go on what they are told and how they are raised. I think the majority of responses that keep calling “feminists” pigs and bigots is a perfect example. That man just subjected himself to the patriarchy he is inherently apart of. YOU CANT BREAK OUT OF A CIRCLE YOU DON”T REALIZE YOUR IN people and without the proper education and perspective taking its pretty difficult for them to ever see or feel what its really like to be apart of the oppression from the other side and they might simply not want to see it, because then they feel powerless. A man does not want to feel powerless EVER so to have this video show a man in a vulnerable position is going dig up some pretty raw emotion and possibly even guilt for knowing that women ARE experiencing this on a daily basis. The fact of the matter is that women are strong emotionally BECAUSE we have to deal with type of harassment and imbalance so we become strong and silent. Men are becoming weak and loud in their interpretations. So when I read these comments I just shake my head and soldier on. Women learn to become strong on the inside and you learn to deal with perhaps the fact that 1 in 4 of you friends have been raped and molested. Just yesterday I had some lame comment on the big dodge that I drive… “ooh is that your truck, if so you get points” why kind of points exactly? because I’m a blonde in a big truck that means I have to earn points? I don’t really care its minor, but its just another example of the small jabs we experience daily. It goes for racism as well, I have to be mindful that I don’t say things that are offensive or ignorant to someone of another culture and to try to understand where they might be coming from, you need to be AWARE when you are the MARJORITY because you can become an ignorant racist before realize it. I have said some rude and biased things and then realized later, wow I have no idea what the are going through and I try to understand. I appreciate men you at least TRY to understand rather than hide behind their anger.
It’s abundantly clear that many feminists don’t want equality, they want female privilege.
What the world needs is more bubble wrap! Yup, that’s it, so NO one will ever get hurt again!!
In response to all the comments complaining that this video misrepresents or overstates the problem of sexism: you are entitled to draw your own conclusions about the way the world works, but if you refuse to listen to what those around you are saying, than you will misunderstand. Women (and men, who don’t act like the normative idea of what men should be) are telling this story (of harassment, sexism, etc)–why don’t we listen to them? How many need to tell this story before it as considered true?
Also, re: “the problem with this is hes just a man acting as if he was a woman. thats not how men would act if women acted that way at all [sic]”–This (aside from making many assumptions about what individuals *would*, hypothetically, do) is a kind of circular logic that actually illustrates the reality of sexism and patriarchy. In other words, it implies that women are harassed or abused because they don’t fight back, or that if they protested their unfair treatment, sexism would disappear. Women do protest, and often harassment continues, or women don’t protest because they fear that they won’t be taken seriously (or blamed for it). It is difficult for some to imagine men being in this position precisely because men as a class are not.
Easily one of the most exploitative and udnerhanded pieces of feminist propaganda I’ve seen. So this is a “day” in a woman’s life implying it happens all the time? Bullshit and everyone of you damn well knows it. These “cat calls” I’ve seen them extremely rarely and in almost all cases someone has intervened to put a stop to it(me included). Blaming the victim of rape? Hardly ever. In fact the support for even alleged rape victims is so overwhelming that there have been a ton of court cases(do your research) where someone falsely accused of committing rape has had their life ruined becasue of the knee-jerk reaction to toss out support to the victim. All this pitiful video shows is rare cases of sociopaths that should by all means be jailed (regardless of gender) and making a false emotional connection to pass it off as a sexism issue.
How about the other side of the coin? I had a friend who got over a dozen stitches on his arm and several more on his face because his girlfriend at the time decided she could throw plates at him. When he took it up with the police you know what happened? Nothing. Beacause domestic violence complaints filed by guys are usually not taken seriously. So dont you dare tell us it’s a one way street. The genders are different sure, each has its advantages and disadvantages. What I particularly despise about modern day feminists is that they cherry pick whatever instances support their claims and ignore every one that shows the opposite.
Also to whomever was complaining about that men can go barechested and women cannot. Do us all a favor will you? Make a movement where women petition to go topless all the time. Do topless protests if you like. You know who your greatest opposition will be? That’s right, other women. You know who will generally be supporting that cause? Mostly men (some, maybe for the wrong reasons but still). Never once have I seen on the beach (a place where women can and do go topless) a guy walk up to a topless woman and go “that’s inappropriate! Put some clothes on” but I have heard snide and spiteful remarks classifying said topless girls as sluts and whores coming from other (usually older) women.
The problem here isnt men being oppressors and taking advantage of the innocent butterflies that are all women but it’s a matter of people FROM BOTH GENDERS not acting in accordance with a basic code of conduct. Modern feminists get a bad rep (and deservedly so) because they only pay attention to half of the problem, blow it out of proportion and completely ignore the other side of the coin.
That being said I am all for normal interactions between human beings regardless of gender. Anyone who goes out of line should take responsibility for his or her actions and be punished accordingly if boundaries are crossed. Thinking only women have it tough and being a man is all easy and awesome is simply ignorant. I have stepped in to defend female friends of mine same as I have stepped in to defend male friends of mine because gender is absolutely no deterrent to becoming a victim of sociopathic behavior. But this repulsive, toxic propaganda is unacceptable. Not if you want people to be reasonable anyway. In fact what it is doing is nothing short of alienating normal, reasonable people (of both genders btw) from your cause because your examples are so far detatched from reality. They are insulting to the intelligence of those who may very well otherwise support your position. Feminism was a great movement when it was about being equal before the law and it got what it aimed to get (in most if not all first world countries at least). Being TREATED equally is a whole different story and is in no way a female-only problem. It’s a humanist problem and should be addressed as such.
It’s a circular problem and women are just as responsible as men. Those guys who wolf whistle and treat women like shit, that’s because they’ve grown up with women showing them that what women value is boys like the boys in one direction, not because of their heart, or any good aspect, because they can sing, they’re good looking and they’re a product. When women seem to value such superficial and stupid things and are attracted to such a shallow bunch of crap, why should men respect them? Women actively show men around the world every day that they’re not attracted to decent respectful men but instead like the jock fuckbag or some lead singer of some d grade band, then they wonder why when they gave this unearnt attraction to these dudes why dudes seem to think they don’t need to be a decent man around women anymore. It’s because what women say and how they act are two phenomenally different things, but women won’t admit that, because it’s the man’s fault (feminism 101) but then again it’s not even the man’s fault, it’s all the other men’s fault because they let him do it (feminism 102). Because we’re all telepathically linked and we’re responsible for our entire gender. Man I’d love to tell women a few things they need to tell their counterparts to stop doing…
Back to the point…When girls start adoring men for being men, not because they have a talent which most people have and are on a stage, you’ll see men thinking that being a man is the way to go, instead of picking up a guitar and knowing you can get away with anything in how you treat women, because she doesn’t truly value great men, she values the dickhead with the dance moves and stupid haircut. Pull your head in women, start being attracted to men instead of dickheads and you’ll find both will sharpen up their act. This won’t happen though, and the way over the top adoration for one direction is all the point i need to hammer home that this is as much girls fault as it is mens and that so many feminists need to pull their finger out. Don’t get me started on how women emotionally rape and cripple men in society.
Terrible over the top video.
This is extreme sexism, not everyday sexism. At least not in my life.
I don’t see how being violently sexually assaulted in an alley can be termed “every day sexism”. I see the point you’re trying to make but this video is way off the mark.
Mark Dent: This isn’t about women as victims, but about making visible some of the injustices in our society. You argue that because men are more subjected to violence on the streets and more likely to die earlier that this problem cannot exist. That is like saying that because antisemitism exists racism against muslims can’t. Of course they can both exist, because they’re both based on the same faulty premise – just aimed at different groups.
The second premise in your statement is that one of these has to be solved first, or possibly even that the feminism and women’s liberation is causing the injustice to men. This is also a false premise, because just like racism both injustices are parts of the same problem – the view of masculinity.
This is where the problem is. It’s not a “women as victims” problem. It’s not even how we view women that is the problem, it’s how we view men that is the problem. As long as we see masculinity as being dominant, assertive, taking what you want, always being the provider and earing respect through either physical, hierarchal or monetary dominance, then we will see men who rapes, assaults other men, and work themselves to their deaths to gain that respect.
I see this in the young men I teach who every new year tells me that I need to gain their respect before they can treat me with respect in return. These are the same young men who tell me I can never fully earn their respect because I will not and cannot hit them as punishment if they do not obey me in the classroom. Reasoning isn’t strong enough in their view of the world, and showing me respect because I am human and their teacher doesn’t cross their minds until much later. Luckily most of them change their views with time, but not all of them do.
Imagine a little girl crying. How likely is she to be told that “girls don’t cry” or to “woman up”, “get a uterus” or “behave like a woman”? It will never happen, it has never happened and it sounds ridiculous. Yet this is what many people tell their boys. Girls get to talk about what they feel, thereby learning to understand their own – and others’ – emotions while boys learn to bottle theirs. Is there any wonder that some never develop a sense of empathy or any understanding for their own emotions? And this goes on throughout their lives. Men are repeatedly treated or joked about as someone who knows nothing, who does not understand, who cannot control themselves. Judges in courts say that maybe he didn’t understand that she really meant no even though she said it? Maybe he didn’t understand that she didn’t want him to have sex with her when she was lying passed out on the sofa? Her skirt was short, so why would it cross his mind that she wasn’t willing?
This goes too to the crime statistics for men. Young men hit other young men. It’s not women going out into the streets assaulting men. It’s men. Not all men, or most men, but some men. And how many men would report if a woman hit them? How many would feel ashamed to admit that they’re being mentally or physically abused by their wives? It’s not masculine, it’s not “being a man”.
As long as we have this view boys will misbehave more in schools and get lower result (the teacher didn’t earn their respect after all). They’ll continue to work themselves to death to provide materialistic needs for his family rather than spending time with it and sharing the burden of both household and being the breadwinner. Some men will continue to assault people, start fights, mug people or rape. But when we can teach our sons as well as our daughters that it is okay to cry, that being empathic doesn’t mean that you’re not strong, that sharing equally the burdens of everyday life doesn’t make you any less worth and that respect isn’t something you earn by giving it to others (unless they do something to lose that respect obviously), then all these issues will decrease. Will they ever go away entirely? Most likely not, but the world would be better for both men and women. And this isn’t about men becoming women, it’s about everyone, man and woman, being judged on who they are as a person and how they behave, rather than on what’s between their legs.
Garbage for sure. Complete disconnect with how the overwhelming interactions in society actually are. Instead a dystopian alternative world where sexism oozes out every single possible scenario. Give us all a break.
I will never feel responsible for the cat calling and harassment that some men dish out to women. To stop this behavior, males need to start a movement from within where this sexism can be eliminated.
Garbage
Some of these comments make me sad for men out there. Really it is disgusting that the majority of us men can’t take a couple seconds out of our day to look at something from someone else’s perspective. Our society has been built off of an imbalance between men and women for centuries. The imbalance is not fixed, it is not perfect only progressing. It is a world that you can never understand unless you yourself experience it from a woman’s perspective. I can admit that I will never be able to understand, but I can try. This line of defense I am seeing coming from men here is the same garbage that was spewed when women entered the work force. Should women not have bitched about not being able to get a job? Should women have been told they were stupid back then for wanting to be treated more equal? But no, now we are at a point where works like this try to let someone in on the perspective of today’s woman and they get attacked STILL. We are privileged as males, things are easier for us, period. Take a second and think about it.
Wow
Maybe it’s a French thing. In 1991 Anita Hill alleged that Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas had sexually harrassed her. When this story got boring after a week or so, NPR news did a round robin of attitudes to sexual harrassment in different countries. They interviewed people in different countries, which were boring and predictable until they got to the Frenchman. His reply (in thick stage French accent): “Oh yes: ‘ere een France, sexual arrassmont ees a woman’s right, and a man’s obligation!”. I’ve been laughing at that ever since.
such bullshit.
Women as victims! When will this sick, self absorption end? If they were killing themselves at four times the rate of men, dying in the workplace at ten times the rate of men, living shorter lives, making up 80% of the homeless, having less than a quarter of the funding spent on their health needs as the opposite sex even though they are unhealthier by every measure and 40% of uni enrolments they might have a point.
Feminists are gender bigots who spew nothing but hatred and lies. As has already been pointed out-the gender wage gap, dv statistics are all twisted and manipulated to portray women as victims yet it is all based on lies.Men are finally waking up as can be seen by many of these responses.
To Anonymous just now, who is complaining about the police officer implying that it may have been the victim’s fault,
Please take a breath,
This does happen.
In this film, it wouldn’t have made sense for that to be a school principal, guidance counselor, or boss at work. But when girls or women get attacked, or when any person gets bullied, this question of “Well, don’t you think you provoked it? Even just a little?” comes up in many places.
The ONE time I was hit by a boy was in elementary school. He punched me on the playground because I called him out for lying that his middle name was Kermit like the frog on TV. We both got sent to the principal, but she said that I provoked his punching me in the stomach, so no action would be taken against him.
Things like this just happen. Justice isn’t always clear, and it doesn’t always get revealed, much less served, in the end.
Police officers are human, just like the principals, bosses, and bullies and victims of the world. Every now and then we all let questions slip that we may later regret. That may have been the case for the police in this film, we don’t know.
I get this, and, as a male, I fully support the intent behind it…
That being said, the biggest problem here is that there’s no call to action, and no true ownership of all parties involved. We’ve established that there is a problem, but there’s no insight here other than “Hey guys, don’t be pigs!” and that isn’t going to solve anything, as you can tell by the reaction on this thread. All you’re doing is polarizing genders, causing the true ‘pigs’ to further disregard your point as unrealistic, and those males who support your cause to feel alienated.
This is a much more complex problem, and to simply heap the blame onto the male collective is going to do nothing, especially because ownership is NOT on one gender – it’s on everyone (male, female, transgender, etc.). Example – there are plenty of women who have capitalized on the power inherent in their sexuality, further reinforcing the ‘pursuit’ mentality where men constantly berate women to garner sexual attention. Commercials abuse this by associating product desire with sexual desire, women abuse it in bar-type settings and on dates to have men pay for them, and, even at its most obvious level, there exist prostitutes that use their sexual prowess to obtain money. These are just a few examples, but they further reinforce the point that there are, indeed, women that use their sexuality to manipulate male behavior.
I want to take a moment here to clarify, as I’m sure there are a few here that would jump to the occasion to turn my point around and make a quick transition, but I DO NOT believe that rape victims are the cause of their rape. To even surmise that or approach the thesis is absurd. Dressing sexy and soliciting attention does not cause rape – rapists do. HOWEVER, there is a serious consideration to be made that the reason why rapists have this disposition to rape is that they are a direct result of an environment that invites (or ENCOURAGES, even) the pursuit and subsequent dominance of a female. Is this a problem with male culture? Of course! Are there considerations to be had from female culture that may influence this as well? ABSOLUTELY. So please, can we start having an honest, open discussion about the root of the issue here, rather than having a shouting match about how guys need to suppress their sexual feelings towards women and that will magically solve all of the issues?
I’m not saying I have a bullet-proof answer to how we should change the message in this video to approach this problem, nor do I have a way to easily define and diagnose all of the pieces at play here, either. All I’m simply saying is that there’s more to it than guys just being objectifying assholes (though this can be a direct effect of it). And as a male who is open to meaningful discourse on how to solve this, I’m honestly tired of being in the crosshairs by association. The male-shaming that occurs as a direct result of these efforts (whether intentional or not) is seriously hindering my willingness to even approach women in consideration of their not wanting to be constantly solicited.
So until we have a preferred alternative, or something more meaningful is shared to allow us all to move towards a better system, can we please just try to have a little more understanding around why these videos/articles/concepts are so volatile? Again, I don’t want to discourage the cause… just the mechanism.
Thanks, Jacko!
HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT THIS VIDEO IS NOT ABOUT SAYING MEN DO THIS ALL THE TIME, AND THEN TURN AROUND AND SAY THAT IT IS A COMMON OCCURRENCE FOR WOMEN?
THAT’S NONSENSICAL.
This outrages me, i must live in a good society because this is not how my family and girlfriend live. in fact i don’t know if any of my female associations have ever been sexually assaulted. I’m sure it happens, but in no way is this the “norm”
Also a police officer suggesting that it was supposedly his fault, what an absolute crock of shit. Fuck off back to France.
Oh no, someone is still claiming that nonsense of the “women make only 77 on the dollar men make”. You believe that nonsense Obama was saying? You see, this is exactly why I said “victim whining”, because women who get off on this nonsense don’t even care to know any other way of thinking about it (much less the truth.) You see, men have for decades looked charitably at the complaints of women, men yielded for centuries to women’s demands. But after all this, women just can not get past their preponderance to hysterical rage. The 77 cents on the dollar figure and most (actually all) of the feminist complaints are all myths. But women do not want to hear it. Now they’ve got the power of the media machine pandering to them (after all, marketers know, women control 80% of spending, so oppressed.) They just don’t want to hear it. And so, men are fed up with this. We don’t care any more. And it is a growing mass who is just through with listening to this incessant complaining. I don’t even bother explaining the stuff you should know about the accusations of “men objectify women” and all that nonsense (women objectify themselves). It doesn’t matter, those 90% of ceaseless complaining women won’t ever stop, not until men stop accommodating these mental children. And more and more men stop. Because men are quite smart. Men built this civilization and men run it. Women are full of delusions about how “strong” they are, yet depend on men everywhere for financial support, technical support, security, and men love women and women hate men back. Just forget it, be a fish without a bicycle you ungrateful self-centered women, we actually found out, we don’t need you either.
to JON: Yes. Sexism exists. I’m a woman who works in a the financial sales world. I’m one of less than 10% of the work force as a woman. I’m smart. Intelligent. And did not get my job on looks, but I’m not unattractive (not vain, going by what has been shown or told). Anyways, when men allow me in their office to “talk” business yet never show any business, I find that peculiar. And yesterday, I hosted a lunch meeting and get the “way too long” hug. And I remember a business meeting once where I realized a man listened to not one word of what I said. Instead at the end of the meeting, the guy said “you sure are a pretty one.” Oh, and maybe I should reference the fact that in my male dominated career choice, at a company conference with several hundred people, we were allowed to bring significant others. And one significant other, whom was a husband of one, was around plenty of management who didn’t know he was the husband of a company employee, proceeded to bash, talk rash, and sexist comments about each and all of the women (including me) at the conference. Sexism exist? I think so.
Jon, I can only hope that you’ll come back to read the response you requested.
That you invited an eloquent response is nice to see, and I hope that mine can be at least civil if not eloquent. I’m no professional writer, but I have experience with the “sexism against women” that you deny exists.
As an average-looking, young white woman in the U.S., I would not say I have experienced sexism or harassment anywhere near to the extent shown in this film, with the exception of one occasion which could not be described as an “everyday” encounter.
I’m not an extremist in any sense, nor do I carry the constant “victim mindset.” I see fingers being pointed with that accusation in a lot of the already-posted comments.
Actually I’m quite fine in my self-esteem and confidence. Every now and then we’re all victims of something or the other, but it doesn’t necessarily become one’s identity.
It is, however, hurtful to hear a man say that he believes sexism is non-existent in our daily American experience. It is not true. Reading it from a level-headed comment like yours hurts worse than reading it from a flaming raging ranter. It makes me realize that the little hurts that happen on a day-to-day basis really do go completely unrecognized. It’s not that they’re not there, it’s that so many people either don’t see it, or see it and deny it’s a problem because it doesn’t seem damaging enough. One reason for which you may not see it is that a lot of it goes on during 1 on 1 interactions. Men don’t typically like to make themselves look bad by being rude in front of others (who does?) but don’t care so much about doing so while alone. Either you just are not this type of man, or the other possibility is, you are but don’t realize it. I don’t say this intending to insult. Consider – If you’re out with your guy friends and one of them makes a remark, are you willing to be the buzzkill who says “dude, not cool.” and then go out of your way to see the situation corrected, or are you going to laugh it off and be congenial with your friends for the sake of a fun time and preserved friendship? Are you going to see that the woman is apologized to, or just let it go and hope that she can endure it? It’s easy to forget how the victim might be feeling while you make your choice. Who knows which straw your friend just laid on the camel’s back. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. If you’re not setting your sexist buddy straight, you’re making it worse.
Being a young woman, just walking through my relatively safe but heavily populated community, car-fulls of high school boys hollering out the windows at me as they drive by are not uncommon. As in, probably one out of every three walks I take on a decent summer day, a driver will either beep, rev the engine, slow down & speed away, or shout something out the window. When you’re young, alone, and don’t own a vehicle, this is troubling to go through with that much frequency. These are people that I don’t know at all, who have cars, an advantage I don’t have. Power to do something I can’t hardly resist if I were to need to.. Who knows what is going on in their minds when they think to shout “Hey honey!” out the window at me.
From the time when we are children, we are taught that to be singled out by a stranger who has a car when you do not is very unsafe. Age does not fade this sense of vulnerability for most women, as it does for many men. Remember how it felt to be approached by a stranger as a child? I’d say that to this day, at age 27, it’s still a lot like that for me. At the moment when interaction is engaged, you don’t have any way to know if a stranger is going to be kind or a complete pig. And it really can (and does) go either way. Everywhere from grocery store clerks commenting on your ID photo, to a homeless man that eyes you up as you’re dropping a dollar into his cup. It happens.
All I know is that their attention and eyes are on me. I don’t want that. It completely wipes away all sense of security. When you end up in the same shop as the group of boys who shouted at you in the street, if you dare to confront them about it? Well, to me they said “I was just saying ‘hey, honey.’ Why are you so mad?” Why is because I am NOT your honey, you’re a stranger. You’re in a flock and I’m alone and your behavior is intimidating! And you’re smiling about having made me wish I were an inch tall!!
Sure, this is one case which was touched upon in the film, with the biker being harassed by a loud homeless person, but what this film COMPLETELY missed the mark on, is how this affects the victim for the rest of the day, and sticks in their mind for a very long time afterward. This particular experience was probably 5 years ago for me. It’s still vivid and emotional for me to remember the humiliation of all those boys giggling about their buddy striking a nerve and getting yelled at by a girl. Even if I was right and they were wrong, I still bear the humiliation. He likely does not feel the same.
Small things like this may flow in one ear and out the other to a person like yourself, it may seem small-time, but consider this.
If it were your grandmother that you were seeing a man intimidate by being bigger than her and imposing on her personal space,
If were your mother whose skirt someone makes just a little tug at as she walks by to reveal her legs,
If it’s your daughter being hollered at by strangers in a car, and you chance to see it happen from a short distance away,
You would understand immediately that it does exist, it is real.
It’s time for the good guys to stop defending the bad guys by denying it or turning the blind eye. That doesn’t help anybody, and help truly is needed.
I didn’t write all this to “prove you wrong,” but I hope I have expanded your view a bit, and that you might reconsider your honest declaration of belief that this problem does not exist.
Thank you for your time spent reading.
I found this clip to be so accurate a depiction of the day-to-day of my and my friend’s lives that it was just uncanny. And disturbing.
For those defensive that sexual assault in an alley way doesn’t happen in a woman’s “everyday” life, without going into the 1 in 4 statistics, please note that the description specifically states it’s exploring Micro AND Macro sexual aggressions.
The Micro aggressions are the little ones most people don’t notice and let slip by. They rankle as they build up and it’s these millions of tiny ones that need correcting the most, since they’re the ones which are the most dangerous. Everyone, male and female, know the macro-aggressions are Not Good. We all agree rape is bad and no one should do it. But, it’s the little micro-aggressions which lead to rape and the rape culture supporting it.
This video is not about tearing men down, it’s about what women experience on a regular basis. If you do even a small amount of research, you will find that women are treated as second class citizens all over the world. Feminism is not about gaining an upper hand or abusing/hating men, it’s about having equal rights. Equal rights in the United States means life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. To pursue a free life with equal pay, the ability to move about in the world without being constantly harassed or attacked, and to pursue a life that creates happiness and fulfillment-just like any man wants and is sure is his birth right. Women are human beings.
The passage written by CLARITY here as a response needs to be read and taken on board by all. Men also face sexism, in media and other outlets, but that does not remove the fact that the sexism women face has existed for generations ad nauseam. As a man, I respect women and believe in equality. I nodded vigorously at Clarity’s terminology of Fem-Nazi, as a lot of feminists have lost their way and forgotten that equality is the goal, not superiority. As the latter is simply the other side of the same coin shared with the misogynists they hate so vehemently. Clarity, I salute your comments and agree wholeheartedly.
The incredible fact is that people watch this and still don’t get it. It will only hit home to people who are ready and willing to accept that this happens in society. Forget the people who don’t get it – don’t waste time on them – use it on the people who get it, and get them involved and on the side of change. The part about being topless – they are the same parts, anatomical structures, both men and women have breasts – and it’s still illegal in the US for women to be topless? Amazing. Just amazing. Women need to just start going topless on hot days – they can’t possibly arrest every woman in the US? And children don’t care – it’s parents who cover their kid’s eyes who make a scene. So do they do the same when a fat guy with huge breasts hits the beach? I didn’t think so. The time for change is now.
if women really want to strive for “equality”, then they should stop trying to tear men down, and start trying to build themselves up instead of adopting the victim mentality that modern-day feminism suggests. Real women don’t need that sort of progressive BS to be empowered.
Men do not try to be women in any which way. Women on the other hand want to be like men… Seems kinda weird. Equality is one thing but wanting to be like a man, quite another. Men and women are built chemically different, that’s the difference here. Men do not fight there chemical instinct, we gladly accept it and how we feel. We show it on the outside as it comes to us, not burry it. As for the whole topless comments, you think men would really care if women ran around topless, lots of countries allow it openly and women do it, again a chemical thing, men are more comfortable with themselves. This whole equality fight is bull shit. You are equal but not the same… Men and women were meant to be different, opposites in fact… Hence the names, opposite sexes, and don’t get me started on the real reason for the failure rate of marriages in North America today, give you a hint though, stems from the same demographic as to what women are trying to portray through this video an other “offences for women” like them
Men commenting on this saying how offensive it is disgust me. Just because you or your friends or family are not (overtly) sexist does not mean that society suddenly becomes sexually equal and utopic.
Wake up: Sexism is as real as ever.
And as for bashing the weight of the man selected for this role: Oh my God. What the hell? Pretending this was sexually accurate (that is, a bigger woman assaulted by a gang of smaller men), do you think it would make any difference? That she would have ‘fought back’? Ugh.
*However: I did cringe with the portrayal of Islam. That pushed it a bit too far. But, the sexist essence is true and undeniable.
“everyday sexism” = held at knife point and made to undress… sure. This video makes some good points, some men are horrible, rude and crass to women. But “everyday sexism” goes both ways; why am i and asshole if i don’t hold the door open for a lady or pay for her meal? If a girl gets drunk and starts hitting me why am I a jerk if i defend myself? When I saw the title to this video I thought it would be pointing out the sexism experienced by men not over-dramatizing the life of a women.
Nearly every day on my way home (am in LA and walk 3 miles) I get approached by men. Around 75% of them get nasty when I keep walking, at least 50% start yelling things like “you’re too good, are you?” and “You’re not that good looking anyway, bitch”. I dress conservatively, and never show skin, except for my face, ankles, wrists etc. Women DO experience this, every day. To those saying “well women ask men out too”, yes we do, but we don’t get abusive when turned down. All the haters need to stop defending disgusting behavior by claiming this film is fiction.
Cultural context is pretty important here. A French person’s response to a topless woman on the street is going to be very different from an American’s response. I think breasts in public are perceived as much more commonplace and non-sexual in France. So what the video is communicating in terms of shock value may well be affected.
So that’s how think women see themselves? As pathetic victims in a world that’s out to get them? This video is total nonsense. It’s so far removed from reality that it’s absurd.
Victim whining.
I live in the U.S. and I honestly do not believe there is any sexism against women…
I really want to know why women say that… unfortunately, I have never gotten a straight answer. Women just get upset and call me names because they can’t prove me wrong.
If anyone would like to explain this to me in an eloquent manner I would like to hear it.
Most of the comments I read above are one-sided and defensive — either feminist or anti-feminist. Let’s all pause for a minute and be rational instead of emotional. Try to step out of your own shoes and put yourself into the shoes of the opposite view. The reality: women in the US and Europe today have more rights, more opportunities and more freedom of choice than ever in history. This is awesome and amazing. Both men and women have been a part of making this happen and women who get to live here and now are amongst the most fortunate. If you want to be a married housewife, you can be. If you want to have a career, you can. If you want to sleep around, you can. All of that still isn’t quite as easy for women as it is for men. There are more trade offs that women still face, but it’s better than ever. There are men who have supported this and they deserve to be recognized and applauded. They don’t get to hear that enough. At the same time, despite how far we have come, there is still much further to go. Women in the US doing the same job still only make 77 cents on the dollar compared to men. Of more concern, around 1 in 4 or 1 in 5 women in the US reports being sexually abused or raped. The numbers are even worse in France. So, despite all our progress, we still have further to go. The issues in this movie are REAL and they happen for a big percentage of the population. It’s not happening everyday to all women, just as it’s not all men who perpetuate these problems. But these problems are nonetheless still major issues (not everyone gets cancer but would we deny that its a problem that needs to be addressed? That would be absurd) Men and women need to be on the same team to make that happen. Obviously, not all men are not pigs. If they were, women wouldn’t have the level of freedom we do today. So, if either this film or any comments suggest that, let’s put it aside. It’s just stupid and ignorant. And obviously the stories depicted in this film reflect very present realities (even if, as a whole, the presentation is one-sided). If people make comments that this is unrealistic, let’s just put those aside. Those comments are just stupid and ignorant. Instead, let’s be rational, respectful and hear each other. Man or woman, we should all appreciate how far we’ve come and appreciate the men who do respect women and view them as human beings first and foremost, worthy of basic human dignity, no matter what they look like or wear. To those men out there who achieve that — thank you. You are special and as without men like you, my freedom as a woman wouldn’t exist. And, man or woman, we all need to recognize that society still has much further to go if we are to ever achieve true and full equality and respect. Whether we are men or women, we all have challenges and crosses to bear in life, but women carry an extra and unnecessary load. I think we need a sequel to this film which is about the shitty women out there who hate and/or take advantage of men — e.g. femi-nazi, gold diggers, etc. After that, we need a final film in the series about men and women who treat each other with decency and dignity (imagine that). Then we can be really clear on what is ok and what is a shitty way to treat the opposite sex. Then we could finally just relax, stop feeling so defensive and victimized, go have great sex and maybe even make love, and live happily ever after.
the problem with this is hes just a man acting as if he was a woman. thats not how men would act if women acted that way at all.
I agree entirely with catlive- Feb 8th comment (and I’m female).
pretty sure there’s a difference between sexism and sexual assault..
It’s surprising how many people don’t get the point of this video. As a female, these are experiences almost every single one of us can relate to-men can go topless freely, the male word is viewed as more important, and we get harassed on a regular basis. Why do you think we have so many women’s shelters for victims of domestic violence? A friend of mine also told me of seeing a woman in France walking down the street. A man walked up to her and tried to pick her up and she said no. Then he spit in her face. Even more strangely. Sorry men, just because you don’t see this stuff happening or your friends supposedly don’t engage in this behavior, doesn’t mean it isn’t happening all the time. If you don’t listen to what women are telling you about their experience you are part of the problem, you are an oppressor. The filmmaker is not lying or being extreme, these are common experiences for woman all over the world. Just ask a few women in your life about it as as starter.
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